I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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