Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
