Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
