he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
