So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
