you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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