If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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