Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
