i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
