i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
