This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
