fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
