I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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