weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
