never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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