what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
