my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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