You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
