i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
