It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
