I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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