How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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