I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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