All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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