So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
