she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
