I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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