redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
