she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
