sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize