We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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