Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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