is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
