all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize