hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
