he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
