So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
