she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
