my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
