Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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