Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
