I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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