but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
