Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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