I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize