Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
