went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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