It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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