scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
