I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I AM VODKA MAN
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
