maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
