The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
