some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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