if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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