I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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