i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
