C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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