i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
