my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
