He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
