she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
