I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
