Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize