I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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