haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
