You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
