Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
