Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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