He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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